When I put out a call for topics in May, I received a great question from Marjory:
OK, Amy… Here’s a question. What does a girl wear on her wedding band finger when she’s past the stage of wanting to get married again. Is it just a matter of individual taste or personal style? I love rings, but that finger feels naked! Should it be a statement ring, stacked or multiple small rings, any particular stones (like my birthstone)??? I’d love your opinion.
First of all, thank you for your response, Marjory. This question resonates with me for so many reasons, and I’ve given it a lot of thought the past few weeks. What I think it boils down to is the “rules” our society has created. If you’re a married woman, then you’re supposed to wear a ring on that finger. If you’re single, then you don’t. Of course, this seems to only apply to women (shocker), as even my own father did not wear a wedding ring during his 50+ years of marriage, and that was acceptable by society’s standards. I can’t name one woman I know who’s married who doesn’t wear a ring. Curious.
And of course, there’s the flip side of the coin. I am single, yet I’d like to marry one day, and I’ve kept that finger bare as a baby’s butt for my entire adult life. I certainly wouldn’t want to scare off a potential suitor in the supermarket if I had a big ring on, right?
So here comes my conclusion. Married or not, I think you should be able to wear ANY ring on any finger you want — statement ring, your birthstone, whatever. Just in the past 6 months, I’ve started wearing rings on my wedding finger. (And yes, if felt a bit awkward at first.) Granted, this was mostly due to the fact that a weight gain (I love peri-menopause, by the way) has changed how some of my rings fit. I decided I didn’t want those rings to go into hiding, so on to my left hand they have gone. Be done with the ring rules, my friends!
I even went a step further this week. My ultra-conservitive father, who I certainly loved dearly, had some very peculiar notions about what a proper lady should do. This list included NO pierced ears and NO colored nail polish. In his mind, these things meant you were a very loose woman. I know he developed these notions during a rough upbringing in Flint, Michigan, and I know he only wanted the very best for me, but I must say that these rules do NOT apply to me…or anyone, for that matter.
So, I did it. I went for a manicure and got COLORED nail polish on my fingers yesterday while wearing a fabulous Arik Kastan moonstone ring, which brings me much joy, on my wedding finger. Bottom line, is follow your bliss and do what makes you happy.
Marjory, I hope this answers your question. xoxo